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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29940063">Tell me a story</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellosunshinemyoldfriend/pseuds/Hellosunshinemyoldfriend'>Hellosunshinemyoldfriend</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>9-1-1 - Freeform, Big Sister Maddie, Buckley Siblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing Talks, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins, tw mentions of death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:27:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29940063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellosunshinemyoldfriend/pseuds/Hellosunshinemyoldfriend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Would you tell me about Daniel? I can't ask Mom and Dad but I would like to know what he was like." </p><p>Post 4x05 'Buck Begins' - Maddie tell's Buck about their brother, and in sharing those memories, the hurt between the Buckley siblings begins to heal. Through thick and thin, they've always had each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tell me a story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay so since the episode aired I've not been able to get the idea of this conversation out of my head. I wish they would have given us at least a tiny clip of Maddie and Buck actually talking about their brother, and so I have had to do what writers do best, take it into my own hands lol </p><p>________________________________________________________________________________</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck set aside his anger at Maddie as he flicked through the postcards and photographs she had saved. He would be lying to himself if he said all the hurt dissipated when she pulled the cards out, but it did lessen the pain, to know that he had been something of a guiding light on her dark horizon.<br/>
<br/>
The thought made him smile. That was what she had always been to him, a bright light. His saving grace. His protector, his big sister.<br/>
<br/>
She had raised him, and he was only just realising what that really meant.<br/>
<br/>
 They settled down onto the couch, sitting snugly side by side as the both gazed down at the photo of their brother sitting on top of Maddie’s baby box – his innocent face smiling up at them – forever young.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>‘So,’ Maddie began, her voice already tight with emotion. ‘What do you want to know?’<br/>
<br/>
The question stumped him for a moment. What <strong><em>did </em></strong>he want to know?<br/>
<br/>
A small part of Buck wanted to rush out with the excuse that he had changed his mind. A voice in the back of his mind whispered that he didn’t really want to know, that he wouldn’t be able to handle any more new family information, but the stronger, more stubborn side of his bristled at the mere thought.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe part of him didn’t want to know, but all of him <strong>needed </strong>to know.<br/>
<br/>
He tore his eyes away from the photo to look up at Maddie, eyes already shining with emotion.<br/>
<br/>
‘Anything.’ He said. ‘Everything, whatever you remember.’<br/>
<br/>
Maddie let out a small watery laugh.</p><p>‘Okay.’ She smiled softly. ‘Well he was two years younger than me, so all the early memories are kind of a blur. I don’t remember particular moments, just little snapshots. I remember running down the stairs on Christmas morning, and arguing over toys. I remember sitting in the backseat and Daniel and I shoving at each other to move, little things.’<br/>
<br/>
She shifted to face Buck properly, and reached out to lay her hand on top of his own equally unsteady one.<br/>
<br/>
‘The clearest memories are what came later. Mom and Dad sitting us down, explaining that Daniel was sick, but that the doctors were gonna work really hard to make him better.’<br/>
<br/>
Tears spilled over at those words, and Maddie reached for the tissues on the coffee table.<br/>
<br/>
At the sight of his sister upset Buck nearly told her to forget about it, she was pregnant and hormonal and now wasn’t the time to have this conversation, but deep down he knew she needed to share the memories just as much as he needed to hear them.<br/>
<br/>
‘Then after that it’s just hospital after hospital, doctor after doctor. I spent a lot of time at Grandma’s, and Aunt Mary and Uncle Joe’s houses, sometimes with Daniel, sometimes without. I remember once asking if we could go play outside during winter and Mom snapped at me to not be stupid, “Daniel is <em>sick </em>Maddie, don’t be stupid.”’<br/>
<br/>
She quoted sadly before quickly wiping away a stray tear. ‘Daniel and I would play pretend a lot, Dad bought us all these adventure books and we’d pretend we were on safari or seeing the pyramids in Egypt.’ A soft smiled graced her face at the memory.<br/>
<br/>
‘And….later?’ Buck asked hesitantly and for a moment as Maddie looked at him all she could see was the little boy who didn’t understand why Mommy and Daddy didn’t care about him.<br/>
<br/>
‘I was about eight when they started testing everyone looking for a bone marrow match. I remember when we all came back negative – It was the first time I saw Mom break, nobody said it at the time, but looking back I’m pretty sure everyone was convinced I would be a match.’<br/>
<br/>
‘Did you feel guilty?’ Buck whispered, almost too afraid to ask, but desperate to know.<br/>
<br/>
‘Yeah,’ Maddie nodded. ‘Guilty, and…ashamed, I guess? I’m the big sister right? It was my job to look out for him and I couldn’t help.’<br/>
<br/>
‘You were just a kid.’<br/>
<br/>
‘Yeah, but so was he.’<br/>
<br/>
Both of them dropped their eyes back down to the photo for a moment.<br/>
<br/>
‘What about when they decided to have me?’ Buck asked shyly.<br/>
<br/>
That brought a small smile back to Maddie’s face. ‘To be honest I don’t really remember the process, I don’t think they really talked to us about it until Mom was actually pregnant, and even then at first it was just the normal “You’re going to have a baby brother or sister” kind of talk. It wasn’t until I overheard Mom arguing with Grandma about the baby, -’<br/>
<br/>
She paused glancing at Buck, ‘about you. That I realised they didn’t’ just <em>decide </em>to have another kid.’<br/>
<br/>
‘I was a necessary evil’ He muttered bitterly.<br/>
<br/>
‘<strong>NO</strong>.’<br/>
<br/>
Her hand fell upon his again but this time it wasn’t in soft reassurance, it was a firm, insistent grip.<br/>
<br/>
‘Never, not for a single moment, have you been a necessary evil Evan. Do you hear me? You want to know what I remember more than anything? Being excited. Daniel and I used to bicker about who you’d like more, about who would get to hold you first. Mom and Dad have a lot to atone for, I won’t deny that okay, but from the second we knew you were on your way, Daniel and I <strong><em>loved </em></strong>you.’<br/>
<br/>
Tears split over both their eyes.<br/>
<br/>
‘Then you were born. I still remember the phone ringing at grandma’s – it was early in the morning and I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to convince Daniel to try and eat some toast and Grandma told us we had a new little baby brother.’<br/>
<br/>
She squeezed his hand. ‘And I cried.’ She laughed wiping away another tear. ‘Because I was so happy. You were the first good thing to happen in so long.’<br/>
<br/>
‘And Daniel?’<br/>
<br/>
‘Daniel ate his toast, said he needed to be strong because he was a big brother now.’<br/>
<br/>
‘How….How long after I was born did they…did you know it was all for nothing.’</p><p>Maddie shot him a warning look at his words.<br/>
<br/>
‘It wasn’t for nothing. You are not nothing. It was a couple of months after you were born that they tried to do the transplant and a few weeks after that when we found out that it didn’t work.’<br/>
<br/>
She took a shaky breath.<br/>
<br/>
‘He went downhill pretty quickly after that.’<br/>
<br/>
Maddie could practically see the self-loathing crawling across Bucks face as he looked down at his lap sadly. She reached out to gently lift his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye.<br/>
<br/>
‘You asked me to tell you about Daniel right? Well what I remember more than anything are those last few months. He was sick, and tired, and hurting, but you brought both of us so much joy. We would lay out in the backyard with you on a blanket under this big old oak tree we had for hours, looking up at the clouds, and we would read you stories and try to get you to say our names. We would play with you, trying so hard to get you to giggle, because you had the best little giggle.’ She smiled softly at the memory.<br/>
<br/>
‘Then you started to try and crawl, and Daniel thought it was hilarious to watch you scoot across the living room floor on your tummy. You were the only one who could make either of us smile, Daniel got sicker, and weaker but even then he’d beg Mom and Dad to let us lay in bed with him so I could read my two little brothers a story.’<br/>
<br/>
‘Really?’ It was whispered so softly that Maddie had to strain to hear it.<br/>
<br/>
‘Yeah, really. You made a difference Evan, even if it’s not the difference Mom and Dad were hoping for, even if you don’t remember. You were this bright, happy baby in a sea of misery. You’d wrap your little hand around our fingers and Daniel and I would be in awe.’<br/>
<br/>
She bumped her shoulder into Bucks teasingly. ‘Even when you were stinky and screaming.’ She laughed, before falling serious again.<br/>
<br/>
‘So what do I remember?’<br/>
<br/>
‘I remember Daniel, my little brother who liked to play with Legos and who wanted to be a pirate, but that’s not <em>who </em>he was. Daniel was the kid who would talk me into sneaking downstairs to watch TV late at night, he was the one who had to use half a bottle of maple syrup on his pancakes, he was the one who bragged that he had a little brother now too, so I couldn’t boss him around anymore.<br/>
<br/>
I remember that I loved him and he loved me, and he loved <strong>you, </strong>and I know you don’t remember it but I promise you Evan, you loved him too. And I’m sorry that you don’t remember him, I’m so, so sorry that I kept him from you because that wasn’t fair to you or him, but I promised him I would look after our baby brother and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.’<br/>
<br/>
‘….Maddie’ Buck said softly, looking at her with wet blue eyes. ‘I…’<br/>
<br/>
She lent forwards and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, and even though he was twice her size now he managed to fold into her arms just the same way he always had.<br/>
<br/>
‘I love you little brother.’<br/>
<br/>
‘I love you too.’<br/>
<br/>
It wasn’t over.  Buck knew they all had healing left to do, but he and Maddie would be okay, because they had each other, and that was everything.<br/>
 <br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>_____________________________________________________________________________</p><p>There we go!!</p><p>So this was my first time writing for 9-1-1 I'm actually pretty new to the fandom but gosh the Buckley siblings have really wormed their way into my heart and I wanted to give them a slightly different reconciliation. Hope you enjoyed!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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